Over the years I have helped hundreds of clients improve the quality of their sleep, and there are several common themes that crop up time and time again.
Here are the top three factors that have contributed to those clients getting a good night’s sleep:
1. Avoid letting everyday pressures impact on how much sleep you get
It may be that there a number of difficult issues that you are coping with at the moment, and you are worrying about them constantly. Going to bed with a head full of worries or loose ends will make sleep more elusive. Either you will have difficulty getting to sleep, or you may ping awake at 3am, with your head ruminating over all these issues.
Talking therapy, such as hypnotherapy can, of course, help you cope better with life generally, so you gradually find yourself worrying less, which means you stand a better chance of drifting off nicely.
But there are things you can do to help yourself, using a calming CD, having an aromatherapy bath, or employing distraction tactics to calm an over-busy mind can all help.
2. Allow yourself sufficient time to get a good 7 or 8 hours’ sleep
All of the research into the detrimental effects of lack of sleep, suggest that most of us need 7 to 8 hours’ sleep a night.
I have had a number of clients who lead extremely busy lives, filling every moment with work, exercise or social activities such that either they are ‘wired’ when they go to bed, or they simply don’t allow enough time to get those 7 to 8 hours.
So, arrange to have good couple of hours of down time before setting off to bed. That means avoiding anything too stimulating, such as reading emails, watching the news or an exhilarating film, or getting wound up by social media posts.
3. Maintain a healthy sleep routine
Some clients report that they can sleep easily during the day or evening, but that sleep eludes them when they go to bed.
With the exception of a 20-30 minute power nap, it seems that any sleep that you have during the day impacts on the amount that you can sleep at night.
So, even though it’s difficult to avoid those urges to sleep during the day, staying awake until it’s time for bed should reap rewards.
I have just returned from a weekend’s lecturing in Manchester. I and my colleague, Nicola Griffiths, travel up once a month to run the Clifton Practice Hypnotherapy Training (CPHT) 10-month diploma course.
We’re over half-way through our second course and this weekend some of last year’s graduates arrived for group supervision with their supervisor. That gave us the opportunity to catch up with them and see how they are doing, and it was wonderful to hear the difference they are making with their clients, now that they are qualified and running their own practices.
There were similar success stories from our current students, too, and it got me thinking about the ripple effect that training has. CPHT founder and lecturer, David Newton has trained many hundreds of students over the years, including me and Nicola.
We’re now lecturers for a couple of schools each and between us we have trained well over a hundred students. The lecturers for the other CPHT schools in the network will have trained hundreds of students too.
The hundreds of graduates from these schools will see many thousands of clients between them over the course of a year, making a difference to their lives in profound and very positive ways. All from the vision and teaching of one man, David Newton.
Thinking about this reminded me of an incredible study published in the British Medical Journal back in 2008 which demonstrated that happiness spreads like a contagion. The research was carried out by the Harvard Medical School and found that one person’s happiness triggers a chain reaction, which spreads their happiness to their friends, and to the friends’ friends, and on to the friends’ friends’ friends.
So, happiness spreads up to three degrees of separation. The effect is stronger the closer you are to the individual and can last up to a year.
The Science Daily reported on the study at the time and highlighted the findings:
"Using the Center for Epidemiological Studies Depression Index (a standard metric) that study participants completed, the researchers found that when an individual becomes happy, a friend living within a mile experiences a 25 percent increased chance of becoming happy. A co-resident spouse experiences an 8 percent increased chance, siblings living within one mile have a 14 percent increased chance, and for next door neighbors, 34 percent.
But the real surprise came with indirect relationships. Again, while an individual becoming happy increases his friend's chances, a friend of that friend experiences a nearly 10 percent chance of increased happiness, and a friend of *that* friend has a 5.6 percent increased chance—a three-degree cascade."
You can read the full BMJ report here: BMJ Report
And the Science Daily article here: Science Daily Article
So, all of those thousands of clients of CPHT graduates that have gained a more enjoyable experience of life will have passed their happiness on to many, many thousands of others.
You can see why I love my job, both as a hypnotherapist and as a CPHT lecturer, the impact of the therapy is awesome!
New clients are often concerned that they won’t be able to ‘go into trance’. Some even say that they have had hypnotherapy before but were unable to ‘go under’ and so believed that the hypnosis did not work.
Similarly, they may say that they have no imagination and are worried that they won’t be able to visualise ‘walking through a forest’ or ‘relaxing in a tranquil garden’.
These concerns are based on a misconception about what is involved in both trance and visualisation. These words can pack a mystical punch, but the truth is, we all go in and out of trance multiple times a day, and we can all visualise.
As a demonstration, I suggest to these clients that they describe their kitchen to me. Immediately I see them turn their attention inwards (often they look up or out of the window), and they very easily describe the size, layout and style of their kitchen.
Now, in order to do this they have had to visualise (imagine / call to mind / recall ) what their kitchen looks like. The chances are they ‘see’ what they would see if they were standing in their kitchen. They are not actually there, of course, they are in the therapy room with me, but they have had to take their attention away from me and into their kitchen.
That’s pretty much what ‘trance’ is. In fact it’s just like day-dreaming. It’s a very powerful state in which the activity of the brain is altered. As Dr David Spiegel, psychiatrist at Stanford University and an expert in the use of hypnosis in a clinical setting, puts it, “In hypnosis, you’re so absorbed that you’re not worrying about anything else.”
In the therapy room we guide people into trance, by getting them nicely comfortable, in a relaxing chair or on a therapy couch, playing some soothing music and then gently encouraging them to imagine (visualise) being somewhere else.
We can then begin the therapeutic change work by using uplifting, motivational language to help them achieve their desired outcome.
In solution focused hypnotherapy we have already established what the client’s preferred future is, through the use of special questioning techniques. Once the client has a clear idea of their next step towards their ultimate goal, then we do the trance work.
Due to the changes that occur in the brain during trance, the process means that it is easier for the client to effect change once they have left the therapy room.
So, trance is ultimately a natural, but powerful, experience. As one of my clients described it, ‘It’s just like having a mind massage.’
Working as I do in the Solution Focused approach, does not mean that life does not serve up the occasional lemon. Adopting a positive attitude to life does not make you immune the occasional setback or hiccup. But, as the saying goes, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'.
I am careful to explain this to clients, who are sometimes disappointed that they let someone annoy them, or they had an off-day in between sessions.
We will none of us reach a state where there are no challenges to be overcome.
What’s different about using a Solution Focused approach is recognising a number of things about life’s lemons:
- Viewing a setback as a challenge or a threat makes all the difference to how well you cope with it.
- Approached with a ‘can do’ attitude, a setback is only a temporary affair.
- By overcoming life’s occasional challenge, we become more resilient and better able to cope in the future.
After more than a decade of immersing myself in Solution Focused techniques, I find it relatively easy to see the upside in most situations. My brain naturally begins a process of ‘OK, that’s a nuisance, but at least it means x, y or z’, which enables me to see a positive future beyond the problem at hand.
To be fair, I already had a ‘can-do’ approach to life generally, and that’s what attracted me to Solution Focused Hypnotherapy, but the good news is that anyone can learn to develop a more robust approach to life’s hazard.
Whether you see yourself as a victim or a survivor, a pawn or a player, a drain or a radiator will determine how you handle a tricky situation. You respond how you respond because that’s how you’ve always done it.
Fortunately you can re-wire your brain to be more resilient, because your brain is malleable. Changing how you respond is achievable by imagining how you would prefer to react in a given situation:
- How do you want to come across in that job interview?
- How do you want to behave when your children are throwing tantrums?
- How do you want to respond when the decorator has made a blunder?
Visualising how you want to be is the key to developing a more resilient approach to life.
And that way you can make lemonade no matter how many lemons come your way.
From time to time I come across a client who I know would benefit from additional therapy such as holistic massage, osteopathy, acupuncture, reflexology etc and, like most therapists, I have a network of colleagues that I can refer clients to. Similarly, I am fortunate in that those other therapists will occasionally refer their clients to me for hypnotherapy.
Together we work with the clients, complementing each other’s therapy. This is because we are acutely aware of the mind-body connection. For example, we know that our thoughts can cause us to become physically tense, or if we are in pain we can become depressed or moody.
Have you ever noticed yourself clutching the steering wheel really tightly because someone has just upset you? Or you don’t get migraines when you’re on holiday? Or you get stomach cramps before meetings at work? Being stressed can even impact on your blood pressure, immune system or reproductive system.
When clients are referred to me from other therapists, I work with the clients using Solution Focused techniques designed to help them cope better with the emotional stresses they are experiencing. In this way clients learn a more relaxed approach to the events in their life, which in turn leads to a release of physical tension and relief from other stress-related symptoms.
Hypnotherapy can have other physical benefits too. It may be that the client becomes more motivated to exercise, or chooses to eat more healthily, or manages to sleep better, which of course helps both the mind and the body.
It’s absolutely fascinating how the mind affects the body, and vice versa.