Working as I do in the Solution Focused approach, does not mean that life does not serve up the occasional lemon. Adopting a positive attitude to life does not make you immune the occasional setback or hiccup. But, as the saying goes, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade'.
I am careful to explain this to clients, who are sometimes disappointed that they let someone annoy them, or they had an off-day in between sessions.
We will none of us reach a state where there are no challenges to be overcome.
What’s different about using a Solution Focused approach is recognising a number of things about life’s lemons:
- Viewing a setback as a challenge or a threat makes all the difference to how well you cope with it.
- Approached with a ‘can do’ attitude, a setback is only a temporary affair.
- By overcoming life’s occasional challenge, we become more resilient and better able to cope in the future.
After more than a decade of immersing myself in Solution Focused techniques, I find it relatively easy to see the upside in most situations. My brain naturally begins a process of ‘OK, that’s a nuisance, but at least it means x, y or z’, which enables me to see a positive future beyond the problem at hand.
To be fair, I already had a ‘can-do’ approach to life generally, and that’s what attracted me to Solution Focused Hypnotherapy, but the good news is that anyone can learn to develop a more robust approach to life’s hazard.
Whether you see yourself as a victim or a survivor, a pawn or a player, a drain or a radiator will determine how you handle a tricky situation. You respond how you respond because that’s how you’ve always done it.
Fortunately you can re-wire your brain to be more resilient, because your brain is malleable. Changing how you respond is achievable by imagining how you would prefer to react in a given situation:
- How do you want to come across in that job interview?
- How do you want to behave when your children are throwing tantrums?
- How do you want to respond when the decorator has made a blunder?
Visualising how you want to be is the key to developing a more resilient approach to life.
And that way you can make lemonade no matter how many lemons come your way.